Results Day?

RIP TO ME!!!

Well, first of all I want to make it clear that on the results day I will be the one shitting my pants! I mean come one, think about it. I wait for about an hour outside my school for the results, then I wait in the line praying (as if it helps) that I haven't failed and at last when I get my results, goose bumps starts to appear all over my body. Sweaty hands. Dry throat. Shaking. Hair standing behind my neck! At that moment, when my teacher hands me my results, I just make a poker face -_- because I don't want to show how freaking fearful I'm at that moment.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm kind of smart, well that's what I think... but I'm really afraid of my Maths result! I hate MATHS! Even if I tried my hardest, I always fail. The first time when I did my Maths GCSE exam, I got a C. Yes, a freaking majestic C! Many people say "Oh, at least you passed!" And I'm standing there like "C shows that I'm a looser because I neither passed nor failed!" Let me explain what getting a "C" means in GCSE. Basically it means that you have passed the exam with a Lowest Mark... Let's say, you need to get 60 marks to pass the exam, and you got 61 marks! How would you feel?

My situation...though I'm a female.

I have already gotten some of my results because I did early GCSEs such as I have got my Religious, Science and ICT (or IT) and Oh yeah, I have got a C in science. Don't laugh please :'( It's just that I had a second chance to do my Science exam and probably get higher grade. Probably. I didn't do it. I thought about it a lot! Many days, I sat in my room thinking "Should I give it a chance?" "What if I fail?" Many questions came rushing in my mind, at the end I decided I wouldn't take the risk. I didn't do it because I thought I "kind of" passed Science already so why should I waste my energy on it again!? It's not like I'm taking it in College or University.

If I tell people that I'm going to fail, they all laugh saying I'm a show off! I mean, just because I concentrate in my class doesn't make me a freaking SMART ASS! I don't get it, in class, whenever there is a test, I always get the highest, but when it comes to the actual exam, I get really low marks. What I hate the most is when I get two or three marks off from getting a B or an A! It really pisses me off. I mean think about it, you learning so much, and at the end you are actually one mark away from getting an A*. In my Religious GCSE Paper, I was two marks away from getting an A*. Yeah, FML (Fuc* My Life!)

Oh, how much I hate them!

Okay, so you know those people who say "Oh, I haven't learnt anything, I'm going to fail!" Well, FUC* THEM! I can't stress it enough about how much they make me angry! I mean, if you have started revising two months before the Exams and you have been revising since the first day you found out the date, then why be like that? They tell you that they haven't revised, or that they might have written a wrong answer, making you hope that maybe, just maybe this time you might get higher than them. No, they crush your dreams by getting an A* Well, thank you very much!

I'm just not in mood now. All I'm thinking is how I will open my results' envelop and see I have got Es and Fs in mostly all of my subjects. I try to stay positive, but think about it, I would be so ashamed of myself, I will probably dig a big hole right there and then, so I can bury myself alive! Oh no, I think my friends will get higher than me and I know, deep down they'll probably be really happy! I don't know. I think, it's time for me to make a Will and say what to give to my family after I die, which probably includes of £10 from my piggy bank, old clothes and yeah, my phone! Oh well, I think I better start writing it then because I don't want them to fight about it.

Bye for now xx take care. PEACE!