College Life

STRESS!

This is my first year of college. I started in September and its November now, so I have been doing pretty good to stay in College for three months. Lie. I don't really have good attendance, though I have 100% Punctuality! I guess I should be proud of that, isn't it? Well, to be honest, I would rather be an hour early than to be at least one minute late. That's just the way I'm. However, my teachers in College seem to only focus on the negative. They always moan about my attendance, I mean it's not like I'm doing it on purpose, sometimes you just got to miss a day or two to keep your brains intact to your bloody skull!

One of the main reason I hate college is waking up late! I set three alarms on my phone because when one of them rings, I just push the *Dismiss* button not the Snooze. I can't be bothered. I set three alarms so that on the third on I would wake up. Unluckily for me, my College is about an hour away from my home and God-forbid, if there is traffic; it's going to take me another 10-15 minutes to get to College. Sometimes, when I'm REALLY early at the bus stop, it only takes me 20 minutes to get to my college because most people at 7:15 don't go to work or use the buses that much. Am I making sense? Probably not. Sorry.

What makes things worse is that I got nothing to look forward to. I got no friends, I don't like my subjects that I have- oh I mean the teachers have chose for me, I sit alone at lunch, I think the Librarians hate me (once I was watching Anime and they caught me!) Oh, last but not least, I feel really stupid while sitting between typical "Smart" people. I think the list goes on, but I can't think of anything else to write (complain) about. I mean, don't get me wrong, if you're not *anti-social* like me, you'll love college life! It's all about you, your choices, your subjects and your assignments -Evil Laugh!-

Story of me Life!

In my opinion, a job is a job. If you're happy with it, then keep it. If not, try your best to find a new suitable job for yourself and leave the current one if you can. I mean, I know how hard it is to find a job when you might not have the qualification for it, but at least try your best in College or University. I'm now stuck with the courses that the teachers chose for me. I have to deal with it now. I will try my best to at least attend every lesson, and do the homework/assignments on time! I think everyone know their pros and cons when it comes to studying. When I was in school, I thought College would be a breeze for me. It would be easy. I was wrong. I was slapped by the brutal reality! I came to know that I "apparently” don’t know everything. I came to my senses because I was told that if you got an A in any of your GCSEs, it would be Equal to a D or E in A Level. It hit me really hard!

I thought I knew what I was going to be in the future. I thought I would probably write, or do some artist things. I don't know. Since I was little, I wanted to be a lawyer. I even played Lawyer-Lawyer with my cousins. I was one of the Lawyers and I had to win the case. It was a lot of fun! Oh the olden days... I wanted to act as well. So far, I wanted to be a Lawyer, an Actress, a Model (who walks on the ramp and takes cute pictures-My thought when I was little :P)  I wanted to be an Author, I wanted to be a director (or film maker) I wanted to be an artist. I guess everyone had dreams when they were younger, when we didn't know the harsh reality. The reality that not everyone makes it to the top, not everyone gets paid £3000 a week! 

Anyway, I think I will shut up now or should I say stop writing. I love writing; it takes my minds off from stupid idiotic things that I worry about for no apparent reason! Bye-Bye.

Xx Peace!

STRESS!

Stress... Many people suffer from stress; it's such a painful thing. I get stressed really easily, I cry a lot when I get stressed. I think the next level of stress is Depression. Oh how I hate depression and stress! I think that sometimes it's just too much. I wake up feeling stressed and depressed and just have no idea about it. It’s like an animal, eating me from the inside. Stress makes me feel as if I'm dead. 

I take my time because I don't want to lose my temper, but most of the time it's so hard! Sometimes I go to the bathroom and just cry. I cry so that I will feel more human and normal again. Many people think that it's nothing. They say "Oh, it's just a phase, you'll get over it" but no... I don't, I never do and I think I never will. I feel ashamed and curse myself because I get stressed really easily. I don't know, I just can't help it. My family say "Oh, now what's wrong?" As if it's all a play and I'm in a drama.

From the moment I wake up, I feel like I got nothing to do, I feel like I'm just a waste of space. I mean come on! I know everyone should be happy as we all deserve happiness no matter what! But... sometimes, you just lose it. You lose your patience, your temper, you lose yourself. I hate it.

I feel like I'm always under pressure! I feel like I got nothing else left in this world. I go on-line to check for help. I Google "STRESS" more than anything. I search for it because I want to know what the cure is. I see people have different stories. Well my story, it'll take me 2+ hours to write in detail about my story. I see people get bored easily. I see that they don't care. People are selfish. I know everyone is, it kind of hurt to see people not giving a SHI* about you. 

 This is what statistics show about Stress: (UK, England)

·         There were 6,366 admissions for stress, a rise of 6.8% on the previous 12-month period.

·         Admissions were highest among those between the ages of 18 and 60.

It hasn't been better since I lost a friend of mine. We used to play together (if you want to know about that story please check out my Blog and the post Title: So Young)

Overall, I think that stress or any type of psychological illness is mostly the main reason people aren't happy with their lives. From the stress of not being good enough to being compared to others. Stress is caused by various factors and reasons.

One way that really helps me keep myself calm and not get easily stress is by watching Youtube videos. I know, I know, it might not help you but it always help me. Another thing that I love is by writing things down. Even now I'm writing what I'm feeling, things that concern you. Write it down, maybe on a piece of paper, write down what you hate and look at it again, it makes you feel as if you are stressing for no reason. 

When you actually see the inner feelings of yours, you'll feel much better! I love to draw as well, but most of the time I don't because if I'm not able to draw an object properly, I get stressed! Sometimes, I go to a park and sit there on a bench. Listening to my music, watching the ducks and it makes me think more positive. Looking at nature, it makes me feel that the world is a big place and why should I stress about little things and put myself in disadvantage.

I would love to hear what others do when they feel stressed ☺